Testimonials from 1892 to Today

Dedication to Lois and Tom

In memory of and with loving thanks to Tom & Lois, the worlds greatest and most loving parents.
At their 25th Wedding Anniversity 1969

Lois was the greatest. Most people love their parents, and know they are special people. Lois was a teacher, a very special teacher and head of her junior school. When Lois passed away suddenly that Easter Monday 1977, she was so respected and loved by her community, uniquely all the schools in the city closed for her funeral so teachers and children could pay their respects to one of their most loved and respected educational leaders.

Lois was only 56 years old. She had suffered from asthma most of her adult life, and when she got her final attack, she cross threaded her mask screw to the oxygen bottle, she kept on hand for emergencies. The ambulance and doctor arrived, but by then one of her lungs had collapsed. Dr Barr her young GP, commented she had had a good innings, and there was no point reviving her.

Lois was a very fit woman who never turned anyone away. A friend of hers once said to me "If I want anything done fast, I ask Lois. She is the busiest person I know, but she always gets things done well, fast. Tom travelled during the week for his work. Amazingly, other than her teaching a class and running her school, she had raised 4 children and a welfare child, fostered more than 10 who come to mind, nursed 2 terminal cancer patients and cared for 3 pregnant unmarried mothers, and, except for weekends, all this on her own.

I have to admit my disgust at the attitude of the doctor to let Lois pass on at 56 thinking she was old and beyond her use by date. However over the past 30 years I have come to see this is more common an attitude than most people would like to admit.

Tom started being medically mistreated very early in life. Before he turned 3 he was travelling in a car which crashed through a bridge. He ended up in hospital with a broken left elbow. The "medical" treatment was pretty barbaric. The doctors were worried Tom's elbow would seize up as it mended, so they tied his right arm up so he had to eat using his broken left arm. It did not work and appart from starving he also caught measels, mumps and chicken pox in hostital until finally the doctors conceeded that his left arm was never going to bend at the elbow, so fused the joint in his left arm.

The worst experience I have witness was when Tom got prostate cancer. It started in the eatly 1970's but with careful diet etc he was not seriously affected until the late 1970's. Over the next 3 years he spent increasingly long periods of time in hospital until he was admitted for the last time in 1981. He gradually faded away, but a healthy active lifestyle meant he had a very strong heart that would not give in, and he was eventually so weak he could not walk and was literally skin and bone like a people we see on TV who aredying from starvation. The doctors gave him 3 to 6 months tops to live, but he lasted another 18 months.

The most distressing time of my life occurred during these last 18 months. There was very little Tom could not do, brilliant mind, exceptional at maths, highly respected tenor who sang many leading operatic parts in hsi younger years, very strong hard working and a loving father. I would have done anything for him.

I lived 10 hours from Tom at this time when he was so sick, and getting to see him was not easy, but I did what I could. I walked into his room one day to find him lying in bed with tears streaming down his face. I had never seen him cry before - except once at Lois' funeral. I moved over to the bed, as he was weak and his big rich voice was now down to a whisper. His body was riddled and he could barely move. He had to be carried like a baby from the bed to use the toilet, he was so frail. I asked him what was happening, and he said the pain was too much for him, he couldn't take it any more. Naturally I immediately went and got the nurse and told her of his predicament.

She Said "I'm sorry we are not allowed to give him any more morphine. The doctor has said he can only have it every 4 hours. He had some 2 hours ago. If we give it to him any more frequently he might be addicted to the morphine."

If there was a doctor to be found at that time I would not have been responsaible for my actions. I wanted to shoot someone. Welived in the country. We did not treat our pets or animals like this. This is the worst form of human cruelty - to another human I have ever seen. My own father! To make them suffer needlessly. Addicted? The man was never going to get out of bed! My father who had loved and cared so much for me. Now here I was a man, and I could do nothing to help for him in return. This was his hour of need. He had never needed anything from me, until this moment, and I could do nothing to help him in his worst hours of pain and suffering. To this day I still get unset to think about it, after more than 30 years my anger, pain and sadness remains.

I had a very limited respect for doctors prior to that day for other reasons, but from that day forward I see most doctors as far from humane or caring healers.

So to Tom and Lois, Mum and Dad, who gave me the best start in life, a healthy start, and a fantastic example of humanity, this is in memory of you, and for all those who suffer like you did, that I may help in some way, easy your pain and suffering like I have already for so many.